My mom has a mummy tummy. So do I; lots have. I birthed a fantastic human and I’m so grateful every day but...I got stretch marks early, and they just GREW! It wasn’t surprising, since I had seen my mother’s, but it was challenging when I was already coping with extra weight.
I WISH this article was all about how I empowered myself to feel like a Zen-earth-mother-goddess and love my body, BUT I actually learned to embrace my mummy tummy through attentive lovers who understood its significance and refused my SHAME. I realize a lot of people don’t have these kinds of opportunities after being pregnant, so I’m sharing.
"...I actually learned to embrace my mummy tummy through attentive lovers..."
I remember the first time it happened. My boyfriend said to me, “move your hand”. I’d been doing a sexy little dance for him, and I was hiding my belly with my hand. Those three words reverberated through me. I FROZE, and when he gently moved my hand away and smiled at me and said, “You’re beautiful,” I began my relationship with accepting my tummy. That was 18 years ago and it’s still a work in progress, but it’s a self image mountain I’m close to conquering.
The next time, I was putting on a robe to walk to the kitchen and my lover held the bottom of my robe as he lay next to me in bed. We played tug o’ war and then he said, “Leave it here”. Again, a flood of fear and I froze. He pulled gently and I let it fall. I was naked, standing in FULL LIGHT and he liked it - A LOT! Let’s just say we forgot all about the snacks I was going for!!
Others have gently kissed or caressed my stretch marks... tracing them; or they’ve held and massaged my belly and its softness. My husband puts his head on it. Each morning as I dress, I send my belly love in the mirror. I like to say my tummy is soft, like my heart.
"Each morning as I dress, I send my belly love in the mirror."
Mummy tummies are all unique; made of stretch marks and loose skin, or that extra layer that is stubbornly holding on, or a bit of both. Some stretch marks are silver, some pink, some grey and others come with a caesarean scar. Some are fine and narrow, some are wide. They are ALSO made of bravery and the challenge of carrying another human. They’re symbols of our resilience and our strength. Sometimes they’re symbols of loss.
If you’re struggling too, I get it.
One of the ways I’m able to connect with my inner goddess is by putting on some sexy adult lingerie. If you haven’t tried it, I HIGHLY recommend!! I feel so much sexier in a lacy pair of panties and bra, or a cute baby doll or smokin’ hot bustier! And I have ZERO issues ordering plus size lingerie to get the right fit. (The key is sizing, so make sure you measure!)
Embrace your mummy tummy too and get your GODDESS on!
Leanne Million is an International Certified Relationship and Sexuality Coach
Leanne co-hosts the podcast EMPOWERED NOW with her husband, Greg Million
Follow her on IG @leannemillion or @poly.thoughts